Just lately

It’s been a little quiet from me lately, and I wanted to share why.

The past few weeks have been a mix of ups and downs as we’ve been navigating Betsie’s cancer treatment. Some days have felt heavier than others, and it’s taken a lot of energy—physically and emotionally—to keep everything going. But we’ve had some really positive news yesterday, we got the go-ahead to start Consolidation 3, which feels like a big step forward and something to hold onto.

Betsie is doing okay overall, but I’ve noticed she’s been much more tired lately. She’s needing more rest, and I can see how much her body is working to keep up with everything. We’re just taking each day as it comes and letting her set the pace.

On a personal note, I’ve been finding things a bit difficult socially. I’ve realised I tend to shut myself away when things feel overwhelming, and lately that’s been happening more than I’d like to admit. My world has become very small—mostly centred around caring for Betsie and making sure she has everything she needs. It’s exactly where I want to be, and I wouldn’t change that for anything, but at the same time it can feel quite isolating.

I think when you’re in this kind of situation, it’s easy to lose touch with the outside world without even realising it. Messages go unanswered a little longer, plans feel harder to commit to, and before you know it, you’ve unintentionally pulled back from people. It’s not that I don’t want to see anyone or be part of things—it’s more that my energy feels so limited, and most of it is needed at home.

There’s also a strange feeling of being slightly out of sync with everything else going on around me. Life carries on as normal for others, while ours feels paused in this intense, all-consuming chapter. It can make it harder to know how to show up socially or even what to say sometimes.

I’m trying to be gentle with myself about it, and to accept that this is just where things are right now. But I do miss those easy, everyday interactions and the sense of connection that comes with them. I know I won’t feel like this forever, but in the moment, it can feel quite lonely.

In the middle of all this, there have been some small, lovely moments too. We’ve started taking Nova out for walks now that she’s had her 12-week vaccinations, which has been really nice. Getting outside, even just for a short walk, has felt like a bit of a reset. Fresh air really does do you wonders!

I won’t pretend it’s been easy—I’m feeling pretty emotionally drained—but at the same time, I’m hopeful and grateful that we’re moving forward with the next stage of treatment. That feels important.

Thank you for sticking with us, even in the quieter moments.